Target Weight

by DRUSE

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price

     

1.
03:20
2.
3.
4.
03:23
5.
6.

credits

released October 13, 2014

Produced and Recorded by Doug Zogby in Rochester, NY in the summer of 2014.
Mixed by Jon Markson at the Gallery Recording Studio.
Mastered by Dave at the Gardwell House.

Artwork by Apollonia Saintclair
apolloniasaintclair.tumblr.com
society6.com/apolloniasaintclair

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

DRUSE Rochester, New York

shows

contact / help

Contact DRUSE

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Track Name: Live Alone
So maybe it’s me.
It’s in the way that you flinch when I touch you.
It’s in the way that I hold you to my chest
like a dog holds a broken leg.

You keep telling me that all things must pass,
but who are you really selling it to?

Now our apartment's empty.
Now I can’t afford my drugs.
I’m burning all of my clothes,
and I’m selling everything that I own.

I’m sleeping next to your bed.
I’m fasting myself clean again.

I can live alone.
I can shave my head.
I’ll warp out of focus, I’ll stay out of sight.

Your eyes sagged and dried since the last time that I saw you,
tight when you asked me where I kept your time.
If I could I would give it all back to you,
all of it.
As much as I could find since I lost track of it,
but I’ve been sleeping in my car this week,
and I’m tired.
Track Name: Five Times A Day
You folded.
You fell.
Your body betrays you.

Gasping on the floor,
you wouldn’t let us help you.
Everyone was home, everybody saw.

Three years removed, they say you’re doing fine.
You’re losing all your hair for the second time,
and I don’t live there anymore, but sometimes I stop by
if my apartment’s empty, or to make sure you’re alright.

They grafted your old cells and now you’re always tired,
but you can’t settle down or sleep through the night.
When you were in the ICU I only came and saw you once,
and I couldn’t go alone.
I had to take my brother with me.

I won’t be proud, just like you said,
but instinct escapes me and I’m so ashamed.

I’m so ashamed.
Track Name: They Have Me On Camera
It was easy to train myself to swallow what I made while their backs were turned.
My lips parted and I groaned.
The heat rose inside my hands.
I know it when it’s seen.
I know it when it’s felt.
Palmed against my waist.
Held, it’s understood.

There’s a son in me somewhere.
There’s a daughter in me somewhere.
There’s a lifetime of potential,
and I haven’t cared to look.

Your face slides around to the back of your head and it sears straight through me every single night.
Sometimes you smile,
sometimes I stick my thumbs in your mouth,
and leave bruises above your shirt.

No matter what’s revealed, I’m still the only person you should trust.

You can’t believe everything you hear.
Pressed against you is when it’s understood.

Understood?
Track Name: Maternal
I can taste the blood in my mouth.
I can taste the wine in my lap.
I can still breathe from inside of a bag.
My face is flushed against the window.

I can see you counting every minute down,
I can hear your back peeling from the seat,
and I’m a drunk,
and I’m a coward,
and I will fight you every day.

I thought I told you we could go when you were ready to go.

A tight lipped kiss goodnight, you face the wall.
I only want you when everything’s taken care of.
‘Cause that’s what I said works best for us.
If you lived here you’d be home by now.
You want to go home, but there you are.

A mother loves her son.
Track Name: Target Weight
If it bends, then I’ll force it.
I’ll tear through to be there.
I can stomach the mirror if something’s left behind.

I was searching for an exit.
It couldn’t be helped.
They pointed out the doors before they dimmed the lights.

Nothing was said, no words exchanged,
Give me a chance to carry this out.

I lost myself when I was looking for a way out.
I lost it all.
I kept lifting up my shirt to show you all the progress that I was making,
and neither of us were convinced that we saw much of anything.
Anything at all.
And I’m still not convinced that I’m getting any better.
And I’m still not convinced that I’m doing much of anything to help.

You used to live here too.

This is my target weight.