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Presents At Home

from The Way That We Ache by DRUSE

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Seth Lawrenson
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lyrics

Oh dear god,
what happened to her son?
They haven’t said who shot him because they’ll never really have to.
They’re still piecing things together,
still questioning the witnesses.
Everything’s a process,
the process is a circus.
I’m still waiting for his name.
I want to recognize the taste.

My friend John was there.
More of a friend of a friend,
but he described the way he went so specifically limp
and the way his torso doubled over;
his eyes so impossibly ripe.

And what he started saying stopped making any sense.

But I heard him
and I still do.
They all make the same agonizing sound.

Young bodies all crack and contort the same way
when they fall against the pavement.
It’s getting harder to differentiate.
I’m groping toward conclusions.

I’m exhausted, I’m trying to gain perspective
on why I’ve spent the last year being moved into the basement.
My sister-in-law always has an alibi,
a story or a place to be.

Of an inevitability her parents warned her of since she could barely speak.

That was never me.
That will never be.
I just want to understand without deviating from my place.

I want to be him noticing his shirt sticking to his stomach.
His stuttering in disbelief as he falls backward onto the yard.
Their friends at school who sprint across the blacktop to reach the safety of their parents’ cars.
Their older brothers,
swimming coaches,
family friends,
presents at home,
vertical timelines,
all the bluest scars.

Someone is asking you if any of this is real.
Someone is telling you that they love you too.

credits

from The Way That We Ache, released March 5, 2016

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DRUSE Rochester, New York

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